The Hole Truth

As the tractors and lorries thunder through our country lanes, and the rain swooshes down, carrying our precious soil ever downhill, so too the roads are slowly disintegrating. As pools form, the road surface underneath degrades and before you know it, you have a whopping great hole that threatens to snap your suspension or throw you off your bike.

What can one do? Well, call Clarence of course. He's your one-stop shop for road repairs and anything that the Highways Department ought to be attending to, but haven't done yet. Clarence can be found on t'Internet here, send him an email here, or you can use the old-fashioned method of the telephonic speakerphone and shouting on this number here: 0800 23 23 23.

The Wasp Terror...

Seen the signpost which has appeared at the entrance to the boardwalk in Jackson's Marsh? Apparently there is a wasps' nest under the boardwalk, and those with children and dogs are advised to take extra care. There has been careful consideration given to closing the boardwalk, but for now it will remain open.

What? Am I missing something, or isn't the odd wasp sting just part of the great British summer experience, like ants at a picnic, or overdoing the sun on the first hot day of the year? Isn't consideration of closure, and putting up warning signs, a teensy over-reaction? It seems a bit odd, too, to single out children and dogs for special attention, rather than (say) those who may suffer from an extreme allergic reaction and go into anaphylactic shock. Not altogether sure what extra care one could possibly take, either.

The bishop and his good lady wife, as it happens, have had an adverse wasp encounter this year, with one of the dogs taking a direct hit amidships. We have found that the little guys are amenable to a polite request for consideration, though be sure to speak to one with the rank of sergeant or above (count the stripes, or ask to see a warrant-card).