The Hole Truth

As the tractors and lorries thunder through our country lanes, and the rain swooshes down, carrying our precious soil ever downhill, so too the roads are slowly disintegrating. As pools form, the road surface underneath degrades and before you know it, you have a whopping great hole that threatens to snap your suspension or throw you off your bike.

What can one do? Well, call Clarence of course. He's your one-stop shop for road repairs and anything that the Highways Department ought to be attending to, but haven't done yet. Clarence can be found on t'Internet here, send him an email here, or you can use the old-fashioned method of the telephonic speakerphone and shouting on this number here: 0800 23 23 23.

The Wasp Terror...

Seen the signpost which has appeared at the entrance to the boardwalk in Jackson's Marsh? Apparently there is a wasps' nest under the boardwalk, and those with children and dogs are advised to take extra care. There has been careful consideration given to closing the boardwalk, but for now it will remain open.

What? Am I missing something, or isn't the odd wasp sting just part of the great British summer experience, like ants at a picnic, or overdoing the sun on the first hot day of the year? Isn't consideration of closure, and putting up warning signs, a teensy over-reaction? It seems a bit odd, too, to single out children and dogs for special attention, rather than (say) those who may suffer from an extreme allergic reaction and go into anaphylactic shock. Not altogether sure what extra care one could possibly take, either.

The bishop and his good lady wife, as it happens, have had an adverse wasp encounter this year, with one of the dogs taking a direct hit amidships. We have found that the little guys are amenable to a polite request for consideration, though be sure to speak to one with the rank of sergeant or above (count the stripes, or ask to see a warrant-card).

In a Manor of speaking

The weather was fine (shock, horror), although there were some rumbles of thunder (that's more like it), the teas were scrumptious (would you expect anything else?) and the Morris Men pranced fit to burst (with hankies a-flutter).

What a fabulous event - the Bishops Offley Garden Party was held in the grounds of The Manor, thanks to the generosity of Sir Brian and Lady Ann Fender, not forgetting the generosity of the donors of prizes, cakes, plants and other goodies as well as all the helpers too who moved furniture, built stalls, served food and drinks and manned the stalls. Plenty of money was raised in aid of Adbaston Parish Church and the Methodist Chapel - a total of £1600!

Of course, there are pics to celebrate the event. Are you on them? Check them out here.

The creature in Jackson's Coppice

On winter mornings, clouds of steam can sometimes be seen rising from Jackson's Coppice. This has always been assumed to be an indication that the dragon is stirring. However, recent research suggests that it may not be a dragon at all, but a Jabberwock. It will be recalled that "the Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, came whiffling through the tulgey wood, and burbled as it came". Jackson's Coppice is clearly a tulgey wood, so we have an appropriate habitat. Identification would seem to depend on whether the creature, whatever it is, burbles while advancing. To date there have been no reports of burbling in Jackson's Coppice, but please post a reply if you have heard any.

Maybe the Staffordshire Wildlife Trust have looked into this? Among their many excellent noticeboards is one which contains the wistful aspiration that there may be otters in Jackson's Marsh, but there is no mention of dragons or Jabberwocks, though they are in the same rank of probability.

If it is a Jabberwock, does anyone have a vorpal sword?

Cats + dogs = events

You can tell it's the time of year for events in Bishops Offley - yep, the heavens have opened and the winds have howled. With two Millennium Green events - Hockey and Cycle Ride - plus Patrick's birthday (Happy birthday to yoooooooo!), it was as certain to bring down the rain as putting out the washing. Still, we know that it'll make the gardens grow (and the lawns need mowing) so that's perhaps a good thing.